From David Deida’s – The Way of The Superior Man come this gem of wisdom…
A man’s capacity to receive another man’s direct criticism is a measure of his capacity to receive masculine energy.
If he doesn’t have a good relationship to masculine energy (e.g., his father), then he will allow himself to be hurt or defensive rather than make use of other men’s criticism.
In other words, he will go into his feminine. We don’t want that. All of American society is sliding in that direction and it’s got to stop.
To embolden yourself and get used to the critiques being leveled at you try this; once a week, you should sit down with your closest male friends. Discuss what you’re doing in your life and what you’re afraid of doing.
The conversation should be short and simple.
You should state where you are at right now and what some of your goals are. Then, get your friends to give you a behavioral experiment.
It should be something you can do that’ll reveal something about yourself to embolden yourself or grant you more freedom in your life.
Here’s a slightly racy example;
You might say, “I want to have an affair with Janice, but I don’t want to hurt my wife. I’m afraid of her finding out.”
Your friends might say, “You’ve been talking about Janice now for six months. You’re wasting your life energy on this fantasy. You should either have sex with her by tomorrow night, or drop the whole thing and never talk about it again.”
“OK. I know I’m not going to do it. I see now that I am too afraid of ruining my marriage to have an affair with Janice. My marriage is more important than my desire for Janice. I’ll drop it and refocus on the priorities in my life. Thanks.”
This is of course, if Janice would agree to have an affair with you even if you believe it would embolden yourself.
Your close male friends should be willing to challenge your mediocrity by suggesting a concrete action you can perform that will shake you out of your rut, one way or the other.
Additionally, you must be willing to offer them your brutal honesty, if you are all to grow.
Good friends should not tolerate mediocrity in one another.
If you’re feeling really scared and up tight, your male friends should respect that, but not let you off the hook.
They should honor your fears, and, in good spirit, continue to gently push you beyond them, without undue stress.
If you merely want support from your male friends without challenge, then you are in need of digging deep and tapping into your masculine energy.
Some call this the father energy or father force. It represents an attitude of encouragement, challenge and guidance. Akin to tough love.
Without this masculine force in your life, your direction becomes wayward. You are liable to meander in ambiguity and indecision. This is damaging to a man in so many ways.
If you can, practice this exercise with male friends who are themselves living at their edge. Facing their fears and pushing their limits.
Men like this can love and care about you without protecting you too much. You want your buddies to make you face the necessary confrontation that the reality of life throws at you.
Of course, you should be able to trust these friends.
You should know that they will tell you about your life as they see it. They should offer you a specific action which will shed light on your own position.
As well, they should give you the support necessary to live in the freedom just beyond your edge of comfort. Those are true friends. Now go out there and embolden yourself!
THANK YOU FOR READING.
I hope this post has been valuable to you. If so, tell others.
Thank you and HAVE A SENSUAL DAY.
Dyann Bridges xoxo
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